Thursday, January 31, 2013

An Update

~ view from my front yard ~
It's been eleven months since this blog was updated and so much has happened. Life goes on, deep breathing still helps and I'm still working on the book. I still agree with Groucho, see post below, and hate being a member of this 'hood...iow, widowhood. The grief has become more manageable and even has begun to move into mourning. I'm not so overwhelmed, I'm not being poured out onto the kitchen floor, kittens playing with my hair and dogs licking my face, while the sobbing consumes me. I am able to live.
"Death comes to us or for us; it's best to be prepared" is the subtitle of my book and for the longest while, was put on a back shelf. The thought kept coming to me, "who wants to read about such a depressing topic?" Lately, I've had my skates on and the words have been flying through my fingers and onto the keyboard. Just this morning, Alistair Begg's words encouraged me..."continuance is the test of reality", "be diligent", "through endurance we have hope" and "practice patience". God gave me this, "see it through"; He might as well have said, "SANDRA! See it through!" followed by a Gibbs head smack. smile
Thank you God and thank you Pastor Begg. 
Closer to home, I was speaking with my brother and he said, "I don't have a will." WHAT?! I wanted to reach through the phone and Gibbs smack him. So, today, I'm writing his will (legal in Virginia, no lawyer required) and he and his wife can make whatever changes they want. They've only been married a few months but they...everyone!... needs a will! In Virginia if you die without a will, called intestate, the Commonwealth of Virginia takes the first twenty or twenty-five percent off the top before they start finding relatives. YIKES! That's terrible, I think. Even if you don't want your estate to go to family, surely there's a non-profit or university where you could give...? I'm also helping with my brother and Daddy's Living Trust; that's for privacy, among other reasons; more to be written about that later.
In the Commonwealth of Virginia a holographic will is legal; that's simply a hand written will that's witnessed by two people when you sign and date it. A holographic will is legal in more than half the states in the USA and should hold you until you're able to do better, this site tells you which states and has more information.
Some of you know I have another blog that's updated more frequently and where I've written about Dave, his death, the farm, my life, etc. Please visit me there.
Thank you for your comments, stories, suggestions, etc. I've asked you if you'd allow your story to be included in the book, some of you have said, "yes" and I thank you. If we share life, it's to be certain we'll also, one day, share death. Let's hold hands and be gentle with each other. Okay?

Blessings ~ grief, it allows us to move back toward living ~ mourning, it allows us to live again ~ stories, they help all of us ~ words of encouragement ~ a life well lived ~